breathing room

Megas Phobos

2008-07-13T13:11:00.003-04:00

What follows are the notes for the sermon this weekend. We've been in a series on the book of Acts, and last week experimented with a time of discussion after the message, before communion. This week we ran out of time (a euphemism for "I rambled on too long"), so I'm posting my speaking notes for any who want to comment, discuss, share perspectives, etc. I think the last few weeks are available for listening online, too, for anyone interested... Here goes:

(Oh, and by the way, if anyone knows how to truncate a post in blogger, and extend it on another page with a "more" link, please let me know)

Acts 4&5 – Holy Fear
Vineyard Church of Milan
07/12/08

Once in a while, you’re traveling through an exciting and invigorating book like the book of Acts, and then boom, you hit a speed bump and your beverage of choice spills all over the steering wheel and the windshield and your freshly pressed Dockers. Making it hard to concentrate on driving for one, and putting a damper on your good mood for two.

That's what the start of chapter 5 is like, at least for me, and probably the rest of us, unless you’re Phil Jackson and you’ve achieved some kind of inner Zen state that takes everything in stride. It's about this couple who sell some land to give some money to the church, but keep some to themselves while making themselves out be giving the whole kit and caboodle to the church. And then they keel over, dead as doornails. One after the other. That'll teach 'em, eh?

As a generally “up with people” type of person who is enamored with the grace and mercy of God, the tendency is to gloss right over a story like this, maybe skip it altogether. Unless you happen to be ticked off about something, of course, in which case you use it like a bludgeon and hit unsuspecting congregants over the head with it. See, if you don't stop _______ (fill in the blank), this might be the fate that awaits you, too!

But I so enjoy Luke's way of telling stories, and his expert authorship, that I can't help but think he included the beginning of chapter 5 on purpose. And I can't imagine his purpose was to scare the living daylights out of us - at least not first and foremost. But it sure as shootin' is perplexing. Perplexing as all get out. Not the kind of passage you tape to your refrigerator, that's for sure. Or embroider on a quilt or whatever.

Which brings me to N.T. Wright. He's a bishop and historical theologian in the Church of England who has a way of understanding the Scriptures that helps apprehend its vitality and makes way for its clear and compelling voice to resonate. His commentary on the book of Acts, called Acts for Everyone - which has been the well from which I've drawn most of my insight for this series - suggests a way of coming at this story that made me go, oh, right. Yeah, that makes some sense. I'm not any more comfortable with the idea that God has set this particular precedent, mind you, and I don't plan on naming any of my kids Ananias. But I do think the Spirit has life giving words this morning for us from Jesus as we proceed through this section of Acts.

Are you ready? We'll ease into it, picking up where we left off last week, after Peter and John healed the cripple outside the temple, got thrown in jail by the Temple authorities, and then were finally released due to popular demand.

Acts 4:23 On their release, Peter and John went back to their own people and reported all that the chief priests and the elders had said to them...Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus.

Notice how their prayer isn't against those who are acting like enemies. They say very simply, essentially, Lord, you know what's happening. Help us to persevere in sharing your good news in spite of it all. Keep healing. Keep demonstrating the arrival of your kingdom and the freedom and hope that comes with it. Let the empty threats pale in comparison to the powerful name of Jesus.

This is a whole new way of responding, isn't it? It's exactly the opposite of what the Temple authorities are doing in the face of threat. It's a sign that Jesus really is their Lord. Their King. There is something for us to learn here, when we face adversity in our lives. Not to fix our eyes on the adversity or the enemy, but on what God wants to do in us and through us. Lord, you know what I face. Help me to keep my eyes fixed on your kingdom, and to act with faith and clarity as your servant. Keep up the good work, God, and let me be a part of it!

Acts 4:31 After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.

All the believers were one in heart and mind... And God's grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them.

Luke is reiterating here what he's said before at the end of chapter 2, and which we've spoken about at some length. But he's doing it in a very particular way to call to mind Exodus 15, where God speaks to his people about the covenant community he intends to set up. It has to do with Jubilee and the cancellation of debts and such (which Don Bromley from Ann Arbor spoke about last month). When Luke writes that God's grace was so powerfully among this new community of Jesus that there were no needy persons among them, he's saying this is it! It's really happening! What God has long promised with regard to establishing a people who love him and obey his commandments and whom he dwells with and through whom the whole world will be blessed - here it is!

Acts 4:36 Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means "son of encouragement"), sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostle's feet.

This isn't the last we'll hear about Barnabas, a man noteworthy for the courage he imparts to others. What he's doing here is significant in the story Luke is telling us about what this new community is becoming. Barnabas is a Levite - the priestly tribe. The tribe that was charged with responsibility for the temple, and who were provided for in God's law by the tithes of the other tribes, which would be brought to the Temple. Here the normal pattern is flipped on it's head, and Luke is shining a spotlight on it for us. The Levite isn't receiving the gift; he's giving it. May those who have eyes to see, see. The Temple and the temple system have given way to the new dwelling place of God on earth - this learning, sharing, praying, bread-breaking community we call the church.

And now the music changes keys.

Acts 5:1 Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife, Sapphira, also sold a piece of property...Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events.

As my 15 year old sister would say, Oh, snap! Harsh, huh? Anybody else squirming a little bit? Not that we shouldn't be. After all, great fear seized not only the whole church, but all who heard about these events. I like the way Eugene Peterson paraphrases this last sentence in the Message translation: "They knew God was not to be trifled with." Even that may be understating it a bit.

Caveat - we're not given any information about the state of Ananias and Sapphira’s souls. The Lord surely knew their hearts, and had all the information he needed to make the right call here. Ananias and Sapphira are not ultimately Luke’s concern, nor should they be ours. They are in the Lord’s hands. Luke’s concern, and our concern, is we - you and me. The concerns we have for Ananias and his wife are usually, if we’re honest, just roundabout ways of getting at our real question, the one bouncing around in our souls like a hyperactive ping pong ball with the mass of a bowling ball: oh, no, could I be next?

A common misconception is that this sort of thing is common in the Bible. Not so. We don't see it again in the whole of the New Testament, in fact. Most of the time, people and nations get away with being bad for longer than most of us are comfortable with. That's why so many psalmists and prophets are regularly crying out for justice. Injustice tends to linger, and God's timing for sorting it all out seems inscrutable to us in our longing. Through the example and ministry of Jesus, we've come to know God as a God who goes to great pains to bring us to a place of repentance. So much so that later the apostle Paul writes that God uses kindness to lead us to repentance.

Which is why most of us don’t see this coming, especially when it comes to something as run of the mill as lying. I mean, hey, they actually sold some land - that they didn't have to sell, mind you - in order to give a good chunk of the profits to the church. We're shocked that they don't seem to have a chance to turn away from their lie, make it up, be forgiven. [Charles Spurgeon story...]

No, no heartwarming hallmark ending here. Justice is stunningly swift and horribly final. Which we love in our summer blockbusters when it’s the bad guys to whom it is served. Real life is another story. When it happens to people who could be we. Could be me. We can’t get it out of our heads; it makes an indelible impression. And that's part of the clue to what's going on. Something like this has happened before. And if you've heard of the stories, they probably made an indelible impression as well. Leviticus 10, Nadab and Abinhu in the Tabernacle, the precursor of the Temple.

Aaron's sons Nadab and Abihu took their censers, put fire in them and added incense; and they offered unauthorized fire before the Lord, contrary to his command. So fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed them, and they died before the Lord. Moses then said to Aaron, "This is what the Lord spoke of when he said: 'Among those who approach me I will be proved holy; in the sight of all the people I will be honored." Aaron remained silent.

There are two other similar stories, and they also involve the holy dwelling place of God - one, the Ark of the Covenant, and the other, the Temple.

It's no coincidence. Luke wants us to see, through this awful example, that God has chosen to dwell with his Holy presence in the church. The same Holy presence that dwelled in the Tabernacle, that dwelt in the ark of the covenant, in the Holy of Holies in the temple in Jerusalem. The Holy fire that was poured out on the church on Pentecost is the same fire that came out from the presence of the Lord shortly after the giving of the law. There is no mistaking it now. The Holy One of Israel is present among these rag tag but beautifully sharing followers of Jesus in the same way, and with the same potency and power, that he was previously present in the Temple.

That kind of holiness is the most concentrated form of truth and goodness and reality in the universe, and the Holy God isn’t pleased by petty selfish lies that parade around pretending to be nobility and generosity and godliness. Because the lie is a distortion of truth and an absence of goodness and fundamentally separated from reality. The end result in this particular case is the account we have here.

I don’t know that we’ll ever get our minds and hearts around the theology of it all; I know I certainly haven’t. Luke isn’t giving us much theology. He’s just telling us what happened, one human being to another human being. So that we can wrestle with it together with him and with the church and with all who heard about it.

Here are the fruits of my wrestling so far, for your consideration. Not that you shouldn’t do your own. But maybe to encourage you do to your own.

The kind of holy fear this produces is the healthiest kind of fear. It’s the fear of the Lord. Not the kind of fear that cripples you, like the fears we so often experience in life. Where we freeze up, panic, run, hide. Not the kind of fear that gnaws at you, gives birth to worry, anxiety, ulcers. Where we slowly shrink and waste and become less fully human. No, that’s the fear of everything and anything but the Lord. Fear of the Lord is, as the book of proverbs says, the beginning of wisdom. It sets us on the path to life, not death.

The fear of the Lord is fear that wakes you up, stands your whole self at attention – body, soul, mind and heart – and makes you ready to respond with clarity and decisiveness. [like driving too fast in bad conditions…]

The fear of the Lord is fear that reorders your priorities, reveals where things have gotten, or are going, out of whack and quickly shuffles them back into place. [again, back to driving: when you’re jamming to the tunes, lost in a conversation on your cell phone, and someone gets pulled over right next to you…]

In a counterintuitive way, the fear of the Lord is like a love calibrator. When we start to let anyone or anything other than the living God (career, money, achievement, success, popularity, even spouses and children) occupy the no. 1 position in our heart, we are susceptible to fears that can destroy us. Fears of losing our career, not having enough money, failure, disappointing people, a variety of expressions of fear of losing people that we love.

But fear of the Lord can reverse all of that, and quickly. Because it fixes our eyes on him. Initially in fear – but that quickly gives way to love. And we recognize in seeing him that he is the one who we can love above all things, without destructive fears. Without fear of losing him, or not having enough of him, or failing him, or disappointing him, or getting jealous or nervous or worried about him. And then those other destructive fears lose their power. Sure, any of those things may happen. But I have put my love and trust in the LORD. And he will one day set all things right.

The church needed to be fully awake in the midst of the persecution that was coming her way. She needed to be fully awake to join with the Lord in the healing and the harvest that was coming. The church needed to be afraid only of the Lord, so that she would not be afraid of the Temple authorities, or the Romans, or the hardships that were coming her way. So that she would have the Lord in the first position in her heart, so that she could love and be nourished by and trust wholeheartedly the Lord even if everything else were taken away from her.

Don’t we need the same thing? Isn’t it easy today to get caught up in fears that ultimately cripple us, gnaw at us, destroy us? Fears of job losses or housing losses or lifestyle losses or relationship losses. Fears of what others think of us or say about us? Fears that cause us to let go of the priorities the Lord would have for us and hold tight to things that can never, at the end of the day, be under our control anyway? And so we come away empty handed?

Don’t we need our whole selves to come awake instead to the presence of the Lord among us? To his Holy power that rules over even the most fearful things in our lives. So that our priorities get rearranged, set back in order. So that we fix our eyes on him, and discover in loving him the satisfaction for our real and deepest thirsts. So that every other love in our lives flows from that love, and stays pure as a mountain stream, unpolluted by the fear factories in our world. So that we can join with him as he unleashes his healing and readies a kingdom harvest.

Micah Timothy Wilson

2008-06-01T01:27:00.001-04:00

what a whirlwind! speeding to the hospital with Ronni and Eva (good friend and birthing helper), honking at cars inconsiderately in the way until they gave way, watching lights turn green almost on command, and ignoring the ones that didn't, arriving 6:36 p.m. to a waiting wheelchair and team of nurses who whisked us upstairs into a prepped labor and delivery room.

Ronni - simply phenomenal amidst the hubbub and intensity of the moment. grace under pressure until Micah arrived at 6:54p.m. wow. that was fast. wow. a holy moment; he's amazing. we're overwhelmed, thankful, still taking him and it all in.

all is well, and all are well. well, well, well. thanks for the many prayers and the many helpers helping in so many ways.

1:24 a.m., and I'm hitting the sack. Don Bromley from the Ann Arbor Vineyard is preaching at church in the morning, so I can rest easy.

go time

2008-05-31T17:49:00.001-04:00

well, the time has come. we're off to the hospital. yeah!

holding pattern

2008-05-30T14:24:00.001-04:00

for those of you wondering about the status of our newest son's arrival, nothing significant to report yet. we're still at home, waiting. progress is definitely being made by the labor Ronni is doing. she saw the doctor today and he says all the lights are green and all the signs are still pointing one way. 4 and 1 for those in the know. could be today. could be tomorrow. could be the next.

we feel a little like an airplane that's nearly arrived at it's destination but hasn't been given landing clearance, so we're just circling the airport in a holding pattern.

using up fuel. passengers getting antsy.

on the other hand, we've got no connecting flights to catch, and there's plenty of free peanuts and apple juice (this is one of those flights in the old days when you didn't have to pay extra for the goodies).

both Colin and Elle were born on Saturdays, if I remember rightly. maybe this one got the memo, too.

in the meantime, I'm just trying to orient my otherwise focused brain to write a sermon that I probably won't be preaching this weekend. or maybe I will. what do I know?

I like "the cry of the church" from the midday office of prayers today. an invitation for an even longer awaited one to come:

Even so, come Lord Jesus.

splash

2008-05-28T11:30:00.001-04:00

well, Jesus Brand Spirituality (my dad's new book) is on the bookshelves today, and seems to be making a bit of a splash. here's a couple of early reviews that might whet your appetite:

Anne Jackson's blog, flowerdust.net

Hearts and Minds "more than a bookstore"

David Crumm's Read the Spirit

this weekend, my sisters Judy and Amy and my brother-in-law Ben were in town for the book release party. we got to hang out on friday night, which was much fun, and simultaneously encourage and embarrass Dad on sunday at the book release party, which was fun as well.

it's funny, I never realized what a privilege it is to have parents that I'm so dang proud of. by the grace of God, may I be that kind of dad to my own kids.

oh and speaking of kids, I just got a call from Ronni indicating that the third one may be wanting to make his presence and personality known to the world here very shortly... I'd better stop blogging now. stay tuned.

Good Friday - with us, to us, for us

2008-03-21T11:17:00.001-04:00

each year, the congregations in Milan gather to observe Good Friday together. this year, the Milan Free Methodist Church is our host. in fact, I'm heading out in just a couple of minutes to pray with my fellow pastors before the service.

each of us was asked to share a 5 minute or shorter meditation on some aspect of Jesus' words on the cross; Luke 23:46 fell to me. for those who are unable to attend, I've posted my notes below...

Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last.

Luke 23:46

Luke writes this verse in compelling, poetic Greek, full of alliterative sounds and ideas, rhymes and echoes. Luke wants our eyes to linger on this text, on this moment, wants our ears to resonate with these last pregnant breaths of Jesus. Indeed, the Greek words for “called out with a loud voice” are the same words from which we get our word, “mega phone.” In other words, when we most want to look away from this awful sight, out of sadness, out of horror, out of respect even for the dignity of this dying man, when we most want to cover our ears and wish it all away, Jesus wants us to hear. Why? What is the meaning, the message in these final words?

Here Jesus, the word made flesh, speaks with us. Here Jesus, the Son of God, speaks to us. Here Jesus, the Son of Man, speaks for us. May we who have ears to hear, hear.

These words – into your hands I commit my spirit– come from the songbook of Israel, the 31^st psalm, the 5^th verse. They were first the words of King David under daunting duress and distress. “Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, Lord, my faithful God.” Over time, countless other human beings have prayed this psalm when it seems all hope is fading. Using David’s prayer as a lifeline when we seem to have come to the end of the line. Now Jesus, the word made flesh, joins with us in these words. He doesn’t make up new or better or more effective words. And if what has been given to us is enough for him in his darkest hour, than surely we have been given a great treasure indeed. And we can know that as we pray those same psalms in our distress, our prayers are rounding out echoes of his in the heavens.

Jesus, the Son who first calls that faithful God Father, is also saying something to us. Just as your prayers are my prayers, my Father is your Father. And he hears our prayers. Jesus’ words may sound like a resignation, an end, but he trusts that somehow, someway, his Father will come through. He chooses just one line from the psalm, perhaps because that is all the breath he has left, but he wants us to hear the whole psalm and take heart from it. Because the psalm ends, in part, like this: In my alarm I said, “I am cut off from your sight!” Yet you heard my cry for mercy when I called to you for help…Be strong and take heart, all you hope in the Lord.

And what kind of hope is it that we are to have, that Jesus has, that Luke wants us to see in this final moment? It is the hope of new creation, the hope that through Jesus’ death on the cross, God is setting everything right that has gone wrong. The hope that this rest that Jesus will enter as the Sabbath draws near will be the final Sabbath of the old and dying creation, and that he will rise on the first day of a new creation that cannot be corrupted, that cannot fall subject to sin and death and strife.

Because in the first creation, God formed humanity out of the earth and breathed breath – the same word used for spirit – into the first Adam. And the first Adam took that breath, and as all of us who have come after him have done as well, he used that breath for his own purposes, and not God’s.

Now Jesus, the Son of Man on the cross, is speaking for all of us, as our representative, on our behalf, and committing back to God the spirit that we had taken for ourselves. Father, into your hands, I commit my spirit. If only any of us could pray that truly, wholeheartedly, without any reservation. We can’t, but Jesus can. And he does. And as he breathes his last the Father receives his offer.

And as Luke will tell us a couple of chapters later, in the book we call Acts, the spirit of Jesus is poured out once again on humanity, the Holy Spirit of a new creation, a breath from heaven that is incorruptible, that transforms us from the inside out into a new creation for the glory of God. Oh what a Savior, that he would give his last dying breath so that we might receive a first new and living breath.

dance back from the grave

2008-03-06T16:41:00.001-05:00

well, we survived the bitter cold tuesday night, thanks to some heroics from Ross and Matt. the propane ran out at about 1 a.m. and the temperatures were plummeting in the tent. our breath was condensing on the roof of the tent and dripping back down on our heads. at 2:00, Ross and Matt went outside, found a new propane tank, hooked it up, and somehow got the heater running again in the dark. Matt almost lost his eyebrows when it finally roared to life, but we couldn't tease him about it too much given the fact that we owed him big time. (below is a picture of the tent we slept in, with an entrance in the middle - guys on the near side and women on the far side. the big building in the background is the Kenner Vineyard Church.)

the rest of the week was awesome. the weather warmed a bit, and we hit our groove with the work. finished up the demolition at Colleen's and installed insulation. helped out at Anthony's (87 year old world war II vet who has stuck around in part so that he can keep teaching chess to local youth), which is almost finished. beautifully designed interior, way beyond his best expectations. put up blinds and installed doors and door hardware with Sam (pictured in the entrance way). Anthony is a big fan of vibrant colors, as you can probably see. not pictured is his hot pink bathroom.

on friday, got to help a guy named Justin move everything out of his home so demolition could begin in preparation for reconstruction. he and his mom have been living in a flood damaged home for over 2 years now.

had tons of fun all the way through. here's a picture of Ross 12 feet up on top of the newly built levies in the lower ninth ward (he stood on Colin's shoulders and then Gray and I helped push him up).

one day while we were working, a Marc Cohn song came on that really hit the spot. "Dance Back from the Grave" great tune. captures something of what we got to be part of in New Orleans. something of what God's up to there. what God's up to here. in me, too. here's the opening lyrics of the song... (you can watch him perform it just below)

I used to wake up every morning saying I must be getting away with something here
Every day was like parole before the levies overflowed; I refuse to think it could all just disappear (I refuse to think)
How long before the street car rattles down St. Charles Avenue and beads swing from two hundred year old trees
How long before they walk down long Lake Pontratrain with the smell of just magnolia on the breeze
Yeah I’ve seen people laughing all the way down to the cemeteries just to send another soul off on its way
Yeah I’ve seen them dance right up to the edge of it
But this time their gonna dance back from the grave

Dance back
Dance back
Dance back
Dance back from the grave

52 degrees and dropping

2008-02-26T22:11:00.002-05:00

the wind's blustering tonight, the tent's rippling and slapping against itself, the temperature's dropping to the high 30's, and the heater isn't working. yet. yet spirit's are high, no doubt about it.

worked on Angeline's home yesterday. learned to mud and tape dry wall (sheet rock they call it down here, and maybe everywhere, for all I know; shows what I know, eh?), courtesy of Jeff, who knows what he's doing. 10 of us, mudding and taping and hammering away. Angeline lives in Gentilly, where the flood waters were head high and counting. getting close to moving back in, talking about what colors she's gonig to paint the walls. sweet woman - others who've come on previous trips have spread good stories about her and her courage and joy.

today Ken (happy anniversary, Ken and Eva!) and Dave and John and I did demolition on Colleen's house. Colleen and her 2 high school age daughters have been living in a FEMA trailer in the front yard for 2 and a half years. we pulled off the old drywall and insulation. hard work. fun work. dusty, dirty, itchy uncomfortable work. going to sleep well tonight if the tent doesn't blow away work. well worth it work. especially when we saw Colleen again at the Alpha course at the church tonight.

what a great church. people who stuck around when the going got tough, dug deep, and just started helping. feeding. fixing. now hosting volunteers.

26 this week. and a similar number next week. a waiting list of people from around the country wanting to help. not to mention all the people who stay home taking on an extra load, helping to make it possible for all those people to come (thanks Ronni, Eva, Stephanie, Karen, Sue, Ben, Dina, Mary, Mark, Brad, & Jon!). 2 1/2 years later. when love comes to town, people just want to catch that train.

morning fog

2008-02-25T07:39:00.002-05:00

made it in around dinner time last night, and went down to the French Quarter to eat some cajun and listen to "Steamboat Willie", a jazz trio with trumpet, bass, and keys.

fell asleep here in the tent to the symphonic sounds of snoring, showered up this morning, and heading off to breakfast. more later...

Oh, and yes, Steve, we're at the Kenner Vineyard, helping with Vineyard's Mercy Response. A great crew, and a great church.

Easing in to the Big Easy

2008-02-23T14:05:00.001-05:00

Heading off with a team from the church (20+ strong) to New Orleans. Some are already there, and others will be arriving over the next couple of days. Not sure exactly what's in store, but I hope to be able to give an update on the blog if the network Ross has set up in the tent works. Prayers appreciated, especially for our families who are holding down the fort here in Michigan. Go Saints!

when love comes to town

2008-02-16T17:18:00.001-05:00

a video I just finished to kick off the message on Sunday...

love

2008-02-14T10:31:00.001-05:00

she swiftly so softly slips

joy afire in

laughs

and lips

lilting lively limpid land

we clamber sure

maybe

stand

happy valentine's day, sweetheart.

snow shovels and toilet brushes

2008-02-12T14:36:00.001-05:00

pictured above is the team that went out serving on Saturday, armed with snow shovels and toilet brushes. notice how energized and enthused everyone looks? it was taken when we gathered back in the church office afterwards to pray for the people we served.

always seems to be the case that the "after" pictures of a servant evangelism team are more "life-full" than the "before" pictures. you never know what you're getting into when you set out to serve people in practical ways, with love in the name of Jesus. will there be driveways to shovel? will people let us wash their restrooms? will the love of God come through and be received? will these chore-like activities be any fun? invariably, what you end up getting into is a sort of love groove,or love loop. love flowing on the team. love flowing towards the people you get to bless. love flowing from God, present in the service itself. and that love tends to be experienced as life itself, overflowing. same deal with serving the poor, too, often times.

all in all, a great time had by all. the pizza box came from a pizza place whose bathroom we cleaned. at first, the workers at Cottage Inn wanted us to wait for a manager to come in to give us permission. then, when we assured them that we were there to clean their toilet for free, no strings attached (see the card we used as backup, to demonstrate that we weren't just weirdos, but rather, sanctioned weirdos), they were delighted to have us get to work. when we got done, they had a pizza waiting for us. "Seriously, no donations desired. We just want to bless you," we protested. They told us they had messed up an order, so they were just going to throw it out. I could see in their eyes that turning down the pizza would feel like a disappointment to them. And also maybe to Mike and Cody, the guys who were on my bathroom cleaning team. So we happily accepted, and brought it back to share with the rest of the crew.

Back at the church office, everyone signed the box. Maybe we'll get it framed.

preach it, big brother

2008-02-05T16:03:00.001-05:00

a big week for our son Colin.

on Friday, he wrote his first sermon. it was snow day, so he spent a good chunk of the day learning how to use microsoft word. various things kept spitting out of the printer as I worked on my sermon upstairs in my home office. "I Love You Mom and Dad." spit. "I Love You Elle." spit. and so on. He didn't tell me until he'd finished, but apparently he decided since I was working on a sermon, he'd write one too. He's at that age, you know.

Here's what he wrote. Page 1 (spacing and spelling as authored):

There is no one like him

Jesus ctrist my Lord. And for

ever and ever. And for give

us as we for give those ho

Sin ugenst us

Page 2:

Amen.

couldn't have said it better myself.

then, he found out yesterday that his newest sibling is a boy, making Colin the first paternal line male Wilson (i.e., son of a Wilson son, if that makes any sense) in several generations to have a brother. My grandfather had no brothers, my dad has two sisters, and I have four sisters. Not to mention the fact that neither Ronni nor my mom has any brothers, either.

Needless to say, Colin is thrilled with the idea of having a little brother. Which has absolutely nothing to do with the historical context, of course. Must be a hardwired desire in boys. I know I sure had it. Even though now I'm thrilled to have so many sisters. Do girls have a similar desire, I wonder? I can't imagine why not. Weigh in in the comments, if you don't have a y chromosome.

dadblog

2008-01-03T13:14:00.001-05:00

one step closer is my dad's new blog...its address is pretty easy to remember, if you know my dad's name: kenwilsononline.com

so far, in the course of about 10 days, he's been both prolific and interesting, so I'm sure you'll find something worthwhile if you check it out. I'm not entirely sure if he's figured out how to moderate comments yet, but leave him one anyway, and we'll see if they start showing up :)

here's a bite sized chunk to give you a taste:

Today, parking on “desire” in the second verse of the first psalm. Happy is the person who sustains a choice of negation–not pursuing the path of the wicked, the offenders, the scoffers. But instead attaches desire to the Lord’s teaching is the sense of the first two verses. Attaches desire. A raw word-experience. Came to me in prayer, John Lennon’s song (white album, i think): I want you. I want you so bad. I want you. I want you so bad, it’s driving me mad, driving me mad. That’s some kind primal of fixation, mediated by what, the amygdala, part of the emotion system in the brain, a deeper in structure of the brain–not the part we do math with, either. Lennon wrote that, I guess, about his desire for Yoko Ono. Which was so strong it was in the process of breaking up the Beatles, if I understand it right. What did he see in Yoko Ono? No one really knew. People around him didn’t see what he saw. Desire. This morning, parking the brain’s awareness on desire, which I have known. Not for Yoko, obviously. Affixing that raw human energy-intention-feeling on the Lord’s teaching. I don’t know how that happens, but it does, or can. God grabs your attention-desire like Yoko Ono grabbed John Lennnon’s. This morning, mainly parked there with an awareness of that. Not fancy, I know. Lectio.

just checking in...

2007-12-29T15:46:00.001-05:00

wow, it's been a busy week of celebration and gathering! too much fun to keep up with, not to mention all of us except Colin being way under the weather with nasty colds for the last 7 days. haven't even checked email since before last Saturday - hope there isn't anything urgent going on :) this will be brief - just wanted to pop in and say hey amidst the flurry of activities.

christmas eve day at my parents, with aunts and uncles and cousins and sisters. then the candlelight christmas eve service - Ronni's favorite service every year.

christmas with the kids in the morning on christmas day, and then with Ronni's mom, and then at her late grandmothers house with extended family.

followed later in the week with a bingo party at her aunt and uncles with more extended family. and a full day christmas party with Ronni's immediate family.

hanging out with my sister Judy in from New York, and her new boyfriend Josh, and my sister Grace who is off of school for the break. oh, and the gift of Guitar Hero 3 from some friends, which has been going non-stop in the living room, it seems, ever since.

helping at Compassion today with Colin to restore some sanity. having some friends over who we haven't seen together in years this evening, and then church tomorrow, and a christmas party with the church board and spouses after that.

oh, gotta run, I think that's my parents at the door. speaking of which, my dad is setting up a blog, finally. I'll put up a link when I get the green light.

merry Christmas, all. definitely an event worth celebrating for all 12 days, don't you think?

mystic believer priest

2007-12-18T21:41:00.001-05:00

ok, so you've got to check this out. my Uncle Bill has a new blog called mystic believer priest. it's feisty, to hear my dad describe it. doesn't pull any punches. maybe kind of like a new martial art form. here's a taste, just to get you curious (from his first post, dated December 11) :

This freedom. This frightening, exciting nakedness before him. In him. Around him. This dancingness in his presence.

And dancing here. There. All around. I don’t want him removed. Obscured. I don’t want someone telling me that I can’t dance. That I can’t dance naked in his presence. I don’t want someone turning off the music. I don’t want someone trying to talk over the music. I don’t want someone trying to tell me to sit down please and let me tell you what God is all about.

And so I’m tired. I’m tired of ministers and pastors and priests. Aren’t you?

Now that you mention it, yes I am. dancing is so much better than stopping the dance, any day. every day.

He wrote a great book, too, called Taking Note: A Year At Home With Strangers.

17

2007-12-16T15:27:00.001-05:00

well, when we arrived at church, Tom and Cathy (who just arrived back from spending a week with the Mercy Response team in New Orleans at 11 pm last night) were waiting outside the church doors to get in. arriving shortly after them was Lynn, and then three high school students, followed by Nick, Jon, Cathy, and Sara. seemed only fitting, since we were all there, to spend some time worshipping, so Ronni turned on the keyboard and led us in some singing. Tom and Kim arrived midway through, and then Heather, Xander, and Matthias.

After singing for about 20 minutes, we read most of the 1st chapter of Luke while the kids ran around the sanctuary. Then we shared prayer requests and prayed for each other, watched a video I'd prepped for the message (that we'll save for next year), and closed with a song.

All in all, 10 who hadn't gotten the message plus 7 of us who were there just in case. Not to mention Jesus, who most certainly wasn't kept away by the storm.

Here's a couple of pictures (the iPhone doesn't take great shots in low light) from before some of the late comers arrived.

worship services canceled this morning

2007-12-16T09:08:00.001-05:00

just a heads up for those of you with RSS readers that might not get the word otherwise: the Vineyard Church of Milan will not be having worship services this morning due to the weather. read the first couple of chapters of the book of Luke with your family, give thanks to God, and have fun shoveling!

on a side note, a couple of years ago the church got us a snowblower as a pastor appreciation gift. that sure has been a gift that keeps on giving!

looks like a friend plowed a path from our driveway, through town, to the church for us. so Ronni and the kids and I are going to head over to the church building in case anyone shows up. kind of curious if anyone will be there... I'll report back later.

new(ish) links

2007-12-12T15:25:00.001-05:00

if you haven't browsed the 'links' or 'friends' section of the blog recently, you may have missed a couple of new and noteworthy updates.

one is the vineyard blogroll & aggregator. it's been dormant for a while now, but someone new has picked up the concept and moved it forward. it's kind of cool - lists a whole bunch of blogs from people connected to Vineyard churches. if you're part of a vineyard church and have a blog, consider being a part of it and expanding the community. at the very least, check it out.

another is Stephanie's new blog. She and her husband and son are part of our home group. her first post is about the advent prayer hour (see 'sacred space / sacred time' below). speaking of which, Amy (also part of our home group) has a great post on that today as well.

and finally, the 'friends' section has a link to Rachel's blog now, too. Rachel is a member of our local church who is serving on staff at a YWAM (Youth With A Mission) base in Ghana.

sacred space / sacred time

2007-12-05T09:56:00.001-05:00

the sweetness of the advent prayer hour this morning got me thinking about the sacred.

the idea of the sacred is mysterious to me. I'm learning to appreciate it a great deal more than I ever have, but the mystery of it only thickens.

("sacred": from the Latin for "holy", meaning set apart or separated to God, same root as "consecrated")

in Jesus' conversation with the Samaritan woman (John 4), he announces the good news that God, who is breath/wind/spirit, is and will be worshiped no longer only on a mountain, but now everywhere breath is breathed, everywhere wind blows, everywhere spirit is present.

now that the kingdom has arrived and is arriving, in other words, the whole world is being made sacred. humanity included, thankfully, allowing us to worship "in spirit and in truth." certainly newsworthy - something genuinely new, a fundamental restoration of the creation taking place. and certainly good news - subverting many footholds for evil, flinging wide open the door to favor, the reality of forgiveness.

but in no way, I think, diminishing the power of the sacred - rather, increasing it's possibilities without diluting it's potency. everything now has an inevitable sacredness - all will be set apart for God when the kingdom comes in it's fullness; all, that is, that is purified, redeemed...all that remains that is good and true, touched by the life of the ages. and even now we can, it seems, by the authority we have as image bearers, as Jesus' agents in the world, confer sacredness on space and time.

when we do, the power of it is surprisingly palpable. like this morning during the advent prayer hour. the space made sacred: a building breathing, resonating with decades of singing, prayer, scripture, sermons, and love; candles glowing and flickering, lovingly lit; music ebbing and flowing, carefully chosen; words well used by saints coupled with beautiful images displayed on the screen. the time made sacred: people rising early, gathering before the gathering light; given to a single holy purpose; made pregnant by silence.

invariably, in the center of such sacred time and space, God appears. having already been there, of course. but making himself known. as we make ourselves known to him. bowing towards him, to kiss. a lovely beginning.

Virginia Mae Wulff

2007-11-29T15:43:00.001-05:00

I just returned from a memorial service for Ronni's grandmother. I am in her debt for various reasons, not least of which is the fact that she taught Ronni to play piano. Grandma was 90 when she passed away last week. A longtime member, organist, and choir director at Allen Park Presbyterian Church, the service took place there. an impressively substantial building; majestic, made of stone, wood, stained glass, and echoes. Today, filled with beautiful music from Ronni and her sister Paula, as well as tears, laughter, hugs, prayers and remembrances.

here's the notes for the eulogy I shared this morning, if you're interested:

Eulogy for Grandma (Virginia Wulff)

11/29/07

A couple of years ago, Grandma called me up and invited me to come by the house to talk for a while. To talk about herself, her life, some of the things that were important to her, in case they ever needed to be said at a memorial service.

Not a funeral, mind you. Didn’t like the notion of a funeral. Churches and music and family and friends, all that was just fine. Better than fine. But Virginia Wulff was a no-nonsense kind of woman, and it was some of the nonsense of funerals that she had no taste for. All the weepy faces and sentimentality and sadness, the tears, and the hugging, too, I think. Maybe especially the hugging. Entirely too much hugging at funerals.

Because she’d lived a good life. Been the kind of person she wanted to be. Done pretty much everything she’d ever wanted to do. The way she wanted to do it. Married a good man, and made a good life for them together. Told me that she and Henry had never argued [story of him grumbling at her shortly before he died… “Henry, I’m not going to argue with you.” Got the sense that arguing was perhaps the worst kind of nonsense to her…]. Raised the world’s best kids. Taught the world’s best students. Heard the world’s best music. Mastered and played it, too, on the world’s best instrument, the piano.

Why spend time being sad about a life like that? Perhaps the idea that she would be missed, deeply missed just wasn’t part of her perspective. A perspective that was shaped by growing up in the Great Depression. When you didn’t have time to wallow, when you had to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and do what needed doing. Scrounging for things to sell, to trade, to get by. Making garments and selling them door to door. When you’ve got that kind of perspective, time spent dwelling on death is just nonsense when there’s living to be done.

But a memorial service, that was alright by Grandma. At a memorial service, the good she was, the good she’d known, the good she’d experienced could be acknowledged, remembered, celebrated. That made sense to her, like a good piece of music makes sense. Like good posture makes sense. Like a piano in the living room makes sense.

I was curious what it had been like to experience the changes in the world over the 90 years of her lifetime. So I asked her, thinking she would comment on the rapid advances in technology, the way the world had shrunk, the pacing of modern life. “Cell phones,” she said, with a hint of something I couldn’t quite put a finger on. Wonder or amazement? No. Disdain? No. Grandma wasn’t the sort of person to answer a question the way you wanted her too, was she? Some people march to the beat of a different drummer; Grandma had the drumsticks in her own hands, and beat the head of the drum whenever she felt like it. “Cell phones,” she continued, and now I could tell the feeling in her voice was pride. “I thought of those long before anyone ever had one.”

“And people don’t get dressed up anymore,” she said. “I miss that.” Maybe that’s why she loved taking her grandkids shopping for Christmas and birthdays. Always for nice clothes, from nice stores. And never for toys. You didn’t even think about asking for toys; they were just too much nonsense for Grandma.

She was sad that things used to be safer, and now there was so much violence that she didn’t feel safe walking the streets even in the daytime. She didn’t live in that fear, though. Trembling with fear was nonsense to Grandma. Living on her own for so many years, she knew exactly what she’d do if someone broke in. One of her favorite hymns, she noted, was “God will take care of you.” Do not be dismayed, what e’re betide, for God will take care of you. Beneath his wings of love abide, for God will take care of you. That, and “What a Friend We Have In Jesus.” “If someone tried to break in,” she told me, “I’d just get down on my knees to pray. Then I’d be secure. Safe.”

But most of all, perhaps, she missed the time when pianos were part of the living room furniture. [Holler outside and students came running] Pianos made the music that captured and expressed the sense of the world. Her favorite singer was Marian Anderson, a ground breaking soprano – the first African American to perform with the New York Metropolitan Opera - whose best loved songs were always accompanied by piano (iTunes info…). Pianos were the place where children – often so full of nonsense – could be exposed to something that would shape their character, fill them with pride, and if they applied themselves, give them pleasure for a lifetime.

I asked Grandma how she’d like to be remembered. True to form, she had an answer ready. As her son Bryant said, she was nothing if she wasn’t honest. And her first answer was nothing if it wasn’t honest. “I’m stubborn,” she said. A trait from the Webber side of the family, she explained. A stubbornness that’s probably part of what made her so independent, what made her take pride in being able to take care of herself. And also made her come across as stoic, not very touchy feely.

She also said she wanted to be remembered as someone who didn’t take things too seriously; but at the same time, someone for whom things had to be done her way. And Grandma had a very clear idea of what her way was most of the time, didn’t she? Her chief complaint to me was how often people complained about things. Complaining was just nonsense to Grandma. One of her favorite quotes, she said, was “Taste your words before you say them.”

There’s an irony in complaining about complainers, isn’t there? Which maybe gets at that first part, the part about not taking things too seriously. Sometimes you could see Grandma’s sense of humor dancing behind her eyes, peeking out in twinkle. Sometimes it was more obvious, like an 80 year old flirting. First time she met John: “They breed them handsome in Colorado.” And if you’d ask her, “How are you doing?” she might reply, “Everyone I can.” Maybe a little nonsense never hurt anyone too badly, after all.

She wanted to be remembered as someone who was happy to be by herself, and equally as someone who enjoyed being with her family and friends. Loved family gatherings, loved taking people to the DSO, to “the Club.”

And finally, she said, I want to be remembered as someone for whom the piano was a companion. Will any of us ever look at a piano and not remember Grandma’s piano room? Will we ever hear one played well and not see the smile on her face?

The piano was surely Grandma’s gift, and each of us has much to be thankful for in the various gifts that she gave to us. Whether those gifts came from her love for us, expressed in her way, or from the things we may have learned from her about honesty, strength and independence, or from the relationships we treasure with one another that happened so often in the gathering circle of her influence, or from the nice clothes from nice stores some of us still have today. Thanks, Grandma. Thanks God. And for those of us who have the good sense to mourn loss of Virginia Wulff, even while we celebrate the gift of her life, may we take comfort from the final verse of that hymn:

No matter what may be the test,

God will take care of you;

lean, weary one, upon his breast,

God will take care of you.

date night

2007-11-21T13:53:00.001-05:00

had a great date with Ronni last night. her grandmother (grand Virginia Wulff, Ronni's dad's mom) passed away on Monday afternoon, and that's been kind of heavy on her heart, so it was nice to just spend some time together, the two of us. Amanda watched the kids for us while we buzzed around the south eastern Ann Arbor area.

went to Wendy's to eat (love that value menu), where we stood in line next to someone who works at the Milan post office. Chad, if I remember right. (Wendy's has got to put their drink machines out so that the employees don't have to do all the refills. get with it already, Wendy's!)

stopped by Lowes to get some light bulbs - we've had a ridiculous number of burned out bulbs in the last week. while browsing for bulbs, ran into someone we know from church who we hadn't seen in months - what a wonderfully God-arranged encounter.

went to Starbuck's to grab a drink and chat for a while. had a fun conversation about this year's "Bachelor" show. looked up and saw Hannah Metler ordering a drink - she was a student when we served the church as youth leaders, and now is all grown up, has a place of her own and everything. she's responsible for the www.zingermansdeli.com website. way to go Hannah!

funny, three places, three very different but enjoyable encounters. not to mention a sweet time together. none of it planned, really, all of it sort of spontaneous. kind of cool when life works that way.

oh, and did I mention we're expecting a new birth (number 3 for us) in June? thanks, God.

new birth

2007-11-15T18:28:00.001-05:00

since the topic of new birth (John 3) has been on my mind at this point in the current sermon series (the secret of the kingdom), it seemed like as good a time as any to begin blogging again.

using a new tool to blog, called windows live writer. recently released by microsoft, I think (and free, too). seems ridiculously easy to use. we'll see how it works. by way of a test, I'll try inserting a video I've been working on to kick off the message this weekend.

my daughter Elle just climbed in my lap as I'm writing. she's pure gift. going to be 3 this month. which is probably why she's already jumped out of my lap, gone out of the office, and is on to some new and exciting activity.

Speaking of gifts, Phyllis Tickle recently gave the kids a copy of her new fixed hour prayer book for children. One simple, poetic prayer each for morning, afternoon, and bed time. Colin's been loving it. he's just at the point where he can read all the words himself. just at the point where he's beginning to treasure brief times of prayer. good timing all around. thanks, Phyllis.

in closing, it's only appropriate to give a shout out to my sisters, all of whom have accomplished remarkable and varied things:

Maja, featured here in this youtube video:

Amy, who spoke recently at the Cloud 9 youth retreat (she generally hates seeing pictures of herself - which is ridiculous given her beauty - so I'll let her off the hook this once, as a way of giving her props)

Judy, who recently completed the New York City Marathon:

And Grace, who scored 13 of her team's 27 goals in field hockey this season (and against whom zero goals were scored):

kindness is eternal

2007-07-11T18:20:00.000-04:00

while trying to brainstorm a servant outreach project for August, I came across this article by Steve Sjogren, entitled "Kindness is Eternal." great quick read - especially recommended if you took part in the parade water giveaway we did last Thursday, or if you're planning to take part on Saturday (1:14 p.m. kickoff at the church office, if you're interested - we'll be going downtown to give away drinks as a practical expression of God's love).

the outreach last week was a blast. there's not much hyperbole involved in saying there are very few experiences in life that can compare with joining others in extending God's grace through simple acts of kindness. we made a quick video about the experience; maybe I can find a way to shrink it down for web viewing and post it on the blog.

celebrated 12 years of marriage to Ronni this weekend. no hyperbole at all in saying that she is the loveliest person I've ever met. we had a great getaway over Sunday night and Monday - the first time we've had a chance to do that for our anniversary since we've had kids.

my parents' anniversary is today, now that I think of it. happy anniversary, Mom and Dad!